Idiot
by sunsets-over-scars
Summary: "Chi-chan" works at a maid/cosplay cafe. She's friends with Izaya's "nonhumans," Shizuo Heiwajima and Celty Sturluson. Izaya comes to her work, just to pick on her, as always. How will she handle it, especially in such an embarassing outfit? Rated NC-17-ish.


"IIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA!" I called, chasing the raven out of the shop and into the street, anger bleeding through my steps. I couldn't believe this; I thought I told him to stay out of my workplace! It was embarassing enough to work at a maid/cosplay cafe, much less have that idiot pest around to bother me. Agh, I'd told him to stay away!  
"Ah, Chi-chan!" Izaya called, turning around to run backwards so he could face me. "So nice to see you again! I love your outfit! So moe, so kawaii~"  
I felt my face heat up but brushed it off, continuing to pursue the idiot. So I was in a "sexy maid" outfit, as my manager called it. Short skirt, corset top, and way too much lace for my liking. My stockings, white and sheer, were scanty and my skirt was so short you could see the hooks holding up my socks. My shoes had high heels, and my hair was put in pigtails. It was gross and strange but I had to wear it for my job. I hated this job, but it was all I could get for now.  
I grunted; so close to reaching him. So close to wringing his little neck, so close to telling him off again. So close to wiping that horribly irritating smirk off his face.  
Suddenly Izaya took a sharp right, to the beginning of a labyrinth of alleys. Most people avoided it, as it was dirty, dangerous, and hard to escape; the damn place was like a maze. The walls were half-torn down, covered in moss and mud and shit; rabid dogs ran around freely; people slept in the streets. There you found nothing but prostitutes and their "owners," drug dealers, drug users, robbers, thieves, rapists, pedophiles...the scum of the earth. The perfect place for a flea like him.  
I felt my heart drop into my foot for a second; was I really going to go down there? Izaya or not, it was a dangerous place...and I doubt Izaya'd help me anyway. He loved his little humans. And I was on his "nonhuman" list along with my good friends Celty and Shizuo. So he hated me, therefore would be happy to see me raped, beaten and killed.  
Right?  
We went down a good number of alleys, fifteen by my count, before Izaya spoke again.  
"Jeez, Chi-chan," he said, "I never pegged you to have such stamina. I wonder what kind of lewd things you've been doing to build that kind of thing up, ohnhonhonhonhon?" He had a godawful grin on his face.  
I blushed but just grew angrier. "You idiot flea!" I cried, surging ahead a bit.  
"Aw, is Chi-chan embarassed?" he taunted saucily. "Calling me a flea, you're just like Shizu-chan! So cute!"  
I just growled a bit. If he kept taunting me like that, I wasn't sure I could control myself from killing him; Shizuo'd be so mad at me, as I'd promised him the honor of finishing our...ahem...extermination job.  
Suddenly Izaya stopped. I, taken aback, was forced to almost skid to a stop, like a car would. He took advantage of my surprise and grabbed me, throwing me against the dark and damp wall of the alleyway. I tried to struggle away but his grip on my arms was firm; I was totally stuck.  
Shit.  
"Aw, why is Chi-chan suddenly trying to escape?" Izaya said, getting a bit too close for comfort. I turned my face away from him; I couldn't bear to look into those deadly red eyes, their patronizing glare pissing me off more and more by the second. "I thought you'd always wanted to be this close to me, ne?"  
I smirked. "Yeah, but not with you in control." I grimaced as I realized the error of my words.  
"Ah, so Chi-chan is a seme? Interesting..."  
My face burst into flames; I totally hadn't meant it that way. But it seemed that was the way Izaya was taking it from the way he was currently acting.  
His face went from mine to the side of my head, warm lips coming to rest on my ear, teeth choosing to nibble a bit. "Welll," Izaya said, "we might have to fix that problem. You see," he bit down particularly hard, making me gasp a bit, "I have this thing...I must be in control. At all times. I'm not a good uke, trust me."  
My face was flames, I was frozen. Izaya...nibbling me?! What the hell was going on? Why was he doing this? What had caused this?  
Better question: why was I enjoying it?!  
The raven moved to my neck, biting and sucking deliciously. A hand that was holding my right arm decided to let go, instead choosing to trickle down my skin in the most tormenting way and hook a few fingers into my tight corset, slightly brushing my bare breast. I trembled a bit.  
Izaya's tone went from patronizing and rude to lustful and serious. "These clothes...I don't like them. I want them off. Now."  
My eyes widened, but I said nothing, instead opting to do what I'd been waiting for him to do for the past five-minute forever, kiss him. I pressed my lips against his, expecting gentle and bitter. But Izaya was the exact opposite, his lips abusing mine in a rough, mindblowing connection. I broke for air only for a second before allowing him to ravish me again. The delicious mix of pain and pleasure-it pried a deep moan from my lips.  
"Oh," Izaya said, breaking to voice an observation, "so now Chi-chan is an uke. And a masochist. How perfect. So sexy." I wanted him to move back to kissing me, but he changed the course of the fraternization, choosing to back away and get a good look at me.  
My pigtails were in a mess on my head, my eyes were darkened in anticipation, my face was flushed, my mouth open and waiting with desire, yearning for him. My lips were red and swollen, puffing out the smallest bit as a result from his abuse. My neck was starting to show the bruises he'd left; I'd have to wear a high collar for the next week or so, damn. My clothes were discheveled, the lace torn off in some places. My stockings were barely held up by their chords, my legs trembling as I struggled to stand in my heels.  
Izaya drew closer to me again, one hand fingering the lace covering my bust, the other pulling out my now mostly gone pigtails and fluffing my hair out. Once it was done it went down to play with the edge of my skirt, making me suck in a quick breath.  
"You're so sexy, Chi-chan," Izaya said, his lips so close to my ear I could feel his breath ghosting across my skin. "How about we head back to my place, get you out of that annoying outfit?" He chuckled as I nodded furiously, barely able to control myself. "Ah, and here I thought you hated me for all these years that I loved you, Chi-chan."  
That's where I froze completely. Did he just...he loved me? What? He actually didn't hate me like I thought?  
I realized right then...if I reacted this way to everything he's said, and I'd had fleeting crushes on and off on him, I must...love him.  
I kissed him one more time, this time it being my turn to abuse. I pulled away. "I love you too, Izaya."  
His eyes widened and he just put an arm around me, beginning to drag me away.  
"What are you doing?"  
He struggled a bit. "I...I can't hold on anymore...I'm gonna fuck you so freaking hard, I can't stand it."  
I smiled. "No more flourishing words, huh, Izaya?"  
"Not in a time of such great need. They're irrelevant. Just get down to business."  
I smiled.  
What an idiot.

I was ungracefully dragged away to his Shinjuku apartment and thrown onto his leather couch. It was cold, but comfortable. But if I'm being honest I wasn't exactly examining Izaya's furniture at the moment. I was examining...well, Izaya.

I mean, who wouldn't in a time like this?

He lingered for a second on the other side of the couch, just looking at me. Torturing me. I was tingling all over and couldn't wait anymore. I grabbed his furry collar and pulled him to me, dragging him into a lustful kiss.

He froze for a second, surprised. He'd almost fallen completely on top of me from the other side of the couch, but unfortunately I didn't have enough strength to pull him completely over. He quickly took control of the kiss as his tongue invaded my mouth, now abusing the roof and sides. Damn, I was gonna be sore for days.

He let me go and walked around the couch and in front of me. He got on top of me, straddling me with his knees, and leaned close. I took this opportunity to further examine him. His hair, usually combed and pristine, was messy and everywhere. It was straght-up-sexy, I had to admit. The collar of his shirt was stretched and miscentered, wrinkled and torn, his jacket was only half on him and the hood was halfway on his head. His pants were low, showing off his nicely shaped hipbones, and I was tempted at that moment to just simply undo that annoying little button...

I lost my opportunity as Izaya reached behind me and began undoing the ribbon holding my corset to me. My face burst into flames but I watched him as he unskillfully fumbled, his hands shaking the tiniest bit. I laughed, sitting up and forcing him to go back as well.

"I've finally found something The Great Izaya Orihara can't do. Wow. I feel empowered."

His face got red and he turned to the side, trying to shield his blush with a hand. "S-shut up. Why would I know how to deal with women's clothing anyway? It's not like I'm a creepy crosdresser or a cosplayer."

I just laughed, beginning to undo the ribbon myself. "Point taken." I removed the corset top. "There, happy?"

He ogoled, a bit rudely. But then again, Izaya was never known for being polite. He smirked at me. "Very."

I smirked. "Great. Now it's my turn." I went strait for his pants button and undid it, fingers brushing his hips. They were as warm as they were attractive, making me blush even more. I got the damned clothing off quickly enough (Izaya wouldn't cooperate with me, so I had some difficulty) and looked down.

Damn.

The rumors were true.

He was...well-endowed.

And yes, there's gossip all over Ikebukuro about his "size."

It showed proudly through his black boxers, making me gulp a little.

"What?" Izaya asked, bringing my attention back to his face. "Like the stupid women say, 'my eyes are up here.'"

I had to chuckle at that. "I know, it's just...looks painful."

He frowned the tiniest bit but it quickly turned into a wide grin. "It's fine, don't worry about it." He trailed kisses from my bellybutton to my neck to my eyebrows. "I'll be here to comfort you, the whole way. I love you."

...And as they say, the rest is history.


End file.
